The following is satire.
Never take advice from young people between ten and sixty years old. Why do I exclude little children? They may not have much experience to brag about, but they are observant and honest. If a six-year-old tells you you should have the scary mole on your chin removed, believe her and hurry to make an appointment with a dermatologist.
Time to visit the dermatologist
This bit of good advice from your little niece didn’t come cheaply to your ego, but both good and bad advice mostly don’t come for free. It’s excellent if it solves your problem, and not so good if it only costs you money, or sends you in the wrong direction. By the way, never ask a dyslexic person, not even a child, for directions. My wife is “direction disabled” and the other day, she ended up in Florida on her way to the local grocery store. We happen to live in northeast Georgia. Directions absolutely not, but if you want advice on how to deal with a learn-disabled child, ask her by all means.
You have just arrived in Florida
She is very knowledgeable and gifted in that area of expertise, and that’s where we need to distinguish. You don’t want to be operated on by a knowledgeable surgeon with two left hands, and neither do you want a very learned lawyer with a speech defect, to defend you in a murder case. Particularly not if you are guilty and in Mississippi, where they have just reintroduced the use of a firing squad as a means of dispatching you to your maker.
Firing squad. Can’t have been in Mississippi as they don’t have Grizzly bears there…
Don’t quote me on that bit about the firing squad as that information came to me via a rabid, death sentence supporter, who perhaps was simply giving expression to some wishful thinking. In any event, don’t just go around asking for advice. Go to the right experts; talented people with the right sort of expertise.
People like me, and if you are due for open heart surgery, and want to find one that won’t kill you, don’t ask a doctor, ask a nurse who assists in the operating theater. Similarly, if you are in the market for some dope, don’t ask a policeman where you might find some. He wouldn’t know. Ask a dope addict.
Although dope addicts may not be the best source of wisdom, they will have experienced and seen things that other types of addicts, such as alcoholics and foodies will never even get close to. While alcoholics will numb their sensory organs until they pass out to eventually wake up with devastating headaches, and foodies’ minds are continuously preoccupied with “double deckers” and gallons of ice cream, dope addicts enjoy extrasensory stuff and out-of-body experiences. They might also have some terrifying visions of attacking dragons or revengeful chickens, but their experiences are bound to be mind-expanding.
An early bird catching a worm…
As so often has been happening, now that I am approaching one hundred birthdays (I am closer to 100 than 70), I am again deviating from the main theme of my story, advice. I told you to only pay for advice offered by talented experts, including old people, loaded with wisdom, much experience, and good intentions.
Just like all the good advice you have enjoyed while reading this post, the guidance and information you can get from wise, old people usually comes free of charge and often unsolicited.
Heed my words, please.