A little satire about getting old and being bad-tempered.
You have reasons to be impatient, suspicious, and bad-tempered when you are as old as Snow White’s Grumpy and have his enormous snozzle. Not all old people have big snouts, but they are likely to have other physical irregularities, such as bad hair or multiple chins that cause impolite people to stare and snicker. It is therefore that older people tend to be a tad grumpy. That and their many aches and pains.
Grumpy was “Happy” before he went completely deaf
I speak from experience, as I am very old, have a handsome, but rather large nose, and a bad limp. I know people sometimes stare and snicker. The bit about being handsome comes from my dear wife, Lea, who is right about most things.
If you read this blog regularly and pay attention, you will have noticed that my stories are resplendent with excellent survivalist suggestions for the elderly. Today I want to assure you that you have the right to be grumpy. Being grumpy includes telling people what you think of them, even if it is very little. You may even insult particularly obnoxious individuals, provided you smile in a friendly manner while you do so. More subtle insults you may deliver in the form of some well-intended advice, such as, “That’s a very nice hat, but if I were you, I would not wear it.” Or to the guy lighting up another cigarette, “I used to smoke like a chimney but gave it up fifty years ago. Smoking causes cancer, you know!”
Spitting image of the author, grumpy but smiling.
The problem with being grumpy most of the time is that it may become a permanent condition, and I recommend that you lighten up your grumpiness with a little humor. The one neutralizes the other and you will be tolerated if not liked. A good example is when an acquaintance brags about the new Cadillac he just purchased, and you react by saying, “I’ll get to ride in one of those pretty soon, myself.”
Nice Cadillac – The arrow points at me attending my funeral…
Did you know Snow White’s Grumpy went nameless for over a hundred years? The Brothers Grimm did not name any of the dwarfs. Walt Disney had to take care of that when he made the movie. When Snow White was introduced to Grumpy and said, “How do you do”? Grumpy answered, “How do you do what?” Rather unfriendly but who in the world, other than English people, will say stupid stuff like How do you do? Snow White was German and would have said something completely different, but equally foolish. She would have lied and said, “Angenehm” (It’s a pleasure). How could it be a young girl’s pleasure to meet an old dwarf with a gross nose?
So remember, it’s okay to be short-tempered or rude, provided you spice it up with a little humor. Remember that you may have to depend on their help one day…